A-Bra Ka Da-Bra
July 10, 2009Have you ever been mistaken for a perv by a woman standing next to you at a bus-stop, even if you were just admiring her charms?
Yes I know that because my dearest wife perceives every less than decent dressed Adam-descendant to be a scheming low-life scum who gets off on unleashing his fickle yet well watered imagination wild flavored with cut scenes from an R Rated Hindi movie.
I recently got the unique opportunity of visiting a place that every decent and shy man hates to be at – a lingerie store. Wait! Is it just me? Tell me that you too feel queasy and jittery when your wife or girlfriend drags you to the bare essentials section at a mall!
Well….coming back to the point, isn’t it so fascinating yet embarrassing to be in there? I was there, in this little shop with frills and satin and cups and stuff hanging from all ends, looking at me with their blue, green, pink and whiteness pouring out of their cups and hems. Funny that no matter if you’re sporting a gabber mustache or a santa beard, you do feel out of place at a lingerie store.
I remembered Douglas Adams and sported the worlds “DON’T PANIC” prominently in my actions, by trying to look cool and composed, playing “Bubble Breaker” on my PDA. The point about Bubble Breaker and me is that being partially color blind, playing the game in black-and-white, and being amidst a cartload of colorful booby-bags can be pretty unnerving and distracting. Add to that the flurry of pretty chicks flowing in, and checking out stuff.
Me trying to hold an air of “I’m here with someone. I’m not buying this for myself” and women trying to squeeze past in the tiny shop, looking at you as a hurdle slowing their pace in a “sale” affected month, the experience was getting to me.
Playing bubble breaker was getting boring, and I realized that I could gain access to a very personal part of every woman in there. Check out a hot chick and ask her, her cup size…..get beaten up. Get into a lingerie store, and you know it all…..As I closed bubble breaker and raised my gaze, I looked at the chicks with the “oh so you’re a 32 / ooh I thought you would be a 34” look.
Another point worth noting is that a lingerie store is probably the toughest places for guys to impress women and hope to extend the relation beyond the glass doors of the store. Why? For the simple reason that men don’t buy lingerie for their relatives. Men who buy for themselves don’tfit the bill. And men who aren’t there for any of these two reasons, are already taken and are just playing fiddle while “madame” shops for endless hours, and then just picks one item, leaving you at the agony of myriad colored pieces of fascination and a store fully of pretty women you cannot reach.
